Orange County
Some intrepid reporter needs to do an in-depth exposé on what exactly is wrong with Shannon Storms Beador’s digestive system. This woman has been trying to poop for years. We have been through so many trips to Dr. Moon with her, and so many enemas.
It’s a Tale of Two Girl’s Trips. Tamra brings her anti-Shannon weapon Alexis Bellino, along with Katie and Jenn, to her Big Bear cabin. Meanwhile, Gina, Heather, Shannon, and Emily head out to Elizabeth Vargas’ stunning estate in the desert, for which Gina has the listing. The only rule for vacationing in a house that’s been staged for sale? Do not spill anything!
If only Heather could protect all of the ladies' feelings as well as she protects her clothing packed in individual sheets of white tissue paper.
It’s said that money talks and wealth whispers, but when you sell your Orange County house for 55 million dollars, you don’t have to speak about it at any volume. People will find out. Also, as Heather Dubrow found out at the first night’s dinner, they will be mad you didn’t tell them yourself.
It must be said, the Orange County ladies are much more game for Montana than the New York cast was. They rode the bull! Well, except for Shannon, but she has a bony vagina and that’s a medical excuse. They ate outside without throwing a fit! Heather Dubrow shoveled poop!
Uh-oh. One season wonder Noella Bergener wasn’t even supposed to be invited on this cast trip. Heather did not want her along after she gave her daughter an LGBT+-themed card game that was inappropriate for a minor. But Gina begged Fancy Pants to reconsider and promised to be on Noella duty, running interference.
This is a COVID vacation, which means no private chefs or butlers. In fact, Shannon and Emily can’t even come because they actually have COVID. Braunwyn is nervous about her first sober girls trip, but she perseveres, shouting to her husband Sean over her shoulder as she gets in the van, “If I call you, answer the phone.
Thank goodness the women are split into two different villas (and two different cars) because Vicki and Kelly are not speaking, and when they are speaking they are screaming. With the Tres Amigas of Tamra, Shannon, and Vicki (and sometimes Gina) on one team, they are given the moniker of Senior Citizen Team.
Shannon Beador is the queen of alternative healing. She has crystals buried in the foundation of her hospital-grade air-filled home! She’s marketing a home enema kit with Dr. Moon! So obviously Miraval is her shit. She jumps at the chance to be in the middle of a sound bath ceremony, complete with a bowl balanced on her head like a hat.
Of course the OC ladies are only in Jamaica for a few minutes before doing something culturally insensitive. They arrive with novelty dreadlocks in their carry-on and “yeah mon!” on the tips of their tongues. It’s not a great trip for Shannon - she is going through a divorce, and new girls Gina Kirschenheiter and Emily Simpson are ready to confront her for the frosty reception she has given them.
