Heather gathered the women in her PJ and jetted off to Guerneville so she could host a fundraiser for Family Equality, debut her champagne collaboration with GEM, and leverage the ladies to walk in her “business casual basics” fashion show. And yet, Heather was not the centerpiece of the trip. No, the primary event would be the ongoing fallout whenever Shannon Storms Beador and Alexis Bellino share a space, even a redwood forest.
See, Alexis is dating Shannon’s ex, Johnny J, and while Shannon believes JJ did her dirty, Alexis claims the opposite and has the videos to prove it. The jury is out on whether John Janssen is a “good guy,” but everyone can agree that Tamra put her finger in Emily’s butt.
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It’s a Tale of Two Girl’s Trips. Tamra brings her anti-Shannon weapon Alexis Bellino, along with Katie and Jenn, to her Big Bear cabin. Meanwhile, Gina, Heather, Shannon, and Emily head out to Elizabeth Vargas’ stunning estate in the desert, for which Gina has the listing. The only rule for vacationing in a house that’s been staged for sale? Do not spill anything!
It’s said that money talks and wealth whispers, but when you sell your Orange County house for 55 million dollars, you don’t have to speak about it at any volume. People will find out. Also, as Heather Dubrow found out at the first night’s dinner, they will be mad you didn’t tell them yourself.
It must be said, the Orange County ladies are much more game for Montana than the New York cast was. They rode the bull! Well, except for Shannon, but she has a bony vagina and that’s a medical excuse. They ate outside without throwing a fit! Heather Dubrow shoveled poop!
Uh-oh. One season wonder Noella Bergener wasn’t even supposed to be invited on this cast trip. Heather did not want her along after she gave her daughter an LGBT+-themed card game that was inappropriate for a minor. But Gina begged Fancy Pants to reconsider and promised to be on Noella duty, running interference.
This is a COVID vacation, which means no private chefs or butlers. In fact, Shannon and Emily can’t even come because they actually have COVID. Braunwyn is nervous about her first sober girls trip, but she perseveres, shouting to her husband Sean over her shoulder as she gets in the van, “If I call you, answer the phone.
Thank goodness the women are split into two different villas (and two different cars) because Vicki and Kelly are not speaking, and when they are speaking they are screaming. With the Tres Amigas of Tamra, Shannon, and Vicki (and sometimes Gina) on one team, they are given the moniker of Senior Citizen Team.
Shannon Beador is the queen of alternative healing. She has crystals buried in the foundation of her hospital-grade air-filled home! She’s marketing a home enema kit with Dr. Moon! So obviously Miraval is her shit. She jumps at the chance to be in the middle of a sound bath ceremony, complete with a bowl balanced on her head like a hat.
Of course the OC ladies are only in Jamaica for a few minutes before doing something culturally insensitive. They arrive with novelty dreadlocks in their carry-on and “yeah mon!” on the tips of their tongues. It’s not a great trip for Shannon - she is going through a divorce, and new girls Gina Kirschenheiter and Emily Simpson are ready to confront her for the frosty reception she has given them.
Lydia is doing a feature for Nobleman magazine and the women are tagging along. The first stop? A store for cold weather gear, because Lydia, and probably the insurance company that holds the policy for this production, cannot trust Southern Californians to bring appropriate clothing.
The OC ladies may have been a little too inspired by the Fighting Irish on this trip. No sooner has the first pub crawl started than Kelly annoys Vicki by flicking her nose. Tamra interjects to say “She doesn’t like that” and Kelly yells at her to “keep walking.”