New Jersey

A gorgeous RV trip up the California coastline, stopping to surf and paddle canoes, and ending in wine country. Who wouldn’t love it? Well, Joe Giudice for one, because it takes him away from whoever was on the other end of that infamous vineyard phone call that his “bitch wife” interrupted, and his bitch wife, because it means she has to pretend to like her cousin Kathy’s company.

There can only be one Punta Princess, as Kathy Wakile points out, but both Teresa and her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga want the title. An argument could be made that Melissa deserves the crown solely for the way she hung her head out the airport van window and hollered at the men who, having just landed in the country were now peeing on the side of the highway, “Have some claaaaaaaass!” On the first day’s boat trip, Melissa and Teresa, and their respective Joes, have a tense pose-off in their bikinis.

Poor Albert Manzo. Any travel agent can tell you, there is a difference between a trip and a vacation and Albert is not on a vacation. Despite his wife Caroline assuring him it would be just the two of them, here he is escorting her elderly parents up a mountain and babysitting the screaming Giudice children about a cruise ship.