Britani tried to surreptitiously record a fight in the sprinter van. Meredith became convinced that a recording device was hidden in her room. Whitney revealed that she had reached out to Monica to get dirt on Lisa.
Heather graced us with another killer monologue, this time while the women enjoyed dinner at luxury theme park BON, urging everyone to stop trying to “catch” their castmates in a lie, and instead form a protective sisterhood circle that no gossip blogger could penetrate by, um, encouraging each person to share a screenshot of the most hurtful thing they had ever said about someone else at the table. And that is how the season ended with security needing to separate Lisa and Angie after they started throwing flowers at each other.
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The trip to Palm Springs for Todd and Bronwyn’s anniversary wasn’t a normal housewife trip; no, it was a couples trip, and the husbands came to play… beach volleyball, and defend their spouses' honor.
The SLC ladies are trading one freezing-cold location for another on their girl's trip to “mill-e-wah-que” in the dead of winter. Whitney is hosting a drag show at Trixie’s bar, bringing the gaggle along. Whitney is determined to show the women a good time, only to be usurped by confrontations of who slid what into each other's DMs.
It’s hard to imagine now but, believe it or not, the seismic, fourth-wall-breaking reveal that new Housewife Monica Garcia is internet troll Reality Von (Tea)se was precipitated by a fight over whether Angie is in the Greek Mafia. As the women, dressed up as Pirates, ate dinner in a cave, a mustached Monica insisted that Meredith was behind the DMs she was getting about Angie.
Trixie Mattel, and her pink candied motel, deserved a better class of guests. First, Whitney checks in ahead of the hostess so that she can sneak Angie K. onto the trip, then Heather has too many espresso martinis and throws up all over it.
This San Diego trip was Jen’s last before pleading guilty and reporting to federal prison, and there were so many party fouls and acts of violence. First, Jen, upset about the room assignments in the gorgeous home Angie K. found for them, dumped a glass of champagne on Angie’s fresh blowout as a “joke.” Later, on a boat trip, Jen chucks Angie’s shoes over the side.
Jen Shah’s passport has been seized by the legal system, so this season’s cast trips can’t go far. Arizona it is! The first thing on the itinerary is a backyard visit from a healer, which doesn’t heal anyone so much as it opens wounds between Lisa and Meredith after Lisa’s hot mic disaster last season.
It is a testament to these remarkable women that Mary Cosby falls asleep mid-conversation while Whitney Rose, wearing a Bavarian costume, accuses her of being a bad friend and also of serving as the head of a financially abusive cult, and it’s the least memorable thing that happens on this vacation.