She then falls asleep on the bus home, rousing in time for her dinner party, but not making it to the end before whipping off her extensions and heading to bed, leaving Meredith to say the words “I’ll bring Jen her hair.” Of course, there is Heather’s now infamous black eye.
However, the most egregious act of violence was Jen tossing a charcuterie board, the patron saint of Salt Lake City, into the Pacific Ocean. She may as well have dug up Joseph Smith and desiccated his memory by tricking him into buying a website monitoring service.
more from this series
The SLC ladies are trading one freezing-cold location for another on their girl's trip to “mill-e-wah-que” in the dead of winter. Whitney is hosting a drag show at Trixie’s bar, bringing the gaggle along. Whitney is determined to show the women a good time, only to be usurped by confrontations of who slid what into each other's DMs.
It’s hard to imagine now but, believe it or not, the seismic, fourth-wall-breaking reveal that new Housewife Monica Garcia is internet troll Reality Von (Tea)se was precipitated by a fight over whether Angie is in the Greek Mafia. As the women, dressed up as Pirates, ate dinner in a cave, a mustached Monica insisted that Meredith was behind the DMs she was getting about Angie.
Trixie Mattel, and her pink candied motel, deserved a better class of guests. First, Whitney checks in ahead of the hostess so that she can sneak Angie K. onto the trip, then Heather has too many espresso martinis and throws up all over it.
Jen Shah’s passport has been seized by the legal system, so this season’s cast trips can’t go far. Arizona it is! The first thing on the itinerary is a backyard visit from a healer, which doesn’t heal anyone so much as it opens wounds between Lisa and Meredith after Lisa’s hot mic disaster last season.
It is a testament to these remarkable women that Mary Cosby falls asleep mid-conversation while Whitney Rose, wearing a Bavarian costume, accuses her of being a bad friend and also of serving as the head of a financially abusive cult, and it’s the least memorable thing that happens on this vacation.