In the van to the villas, she starts with Teresa’s friend Robyn, who threatens to beat Jacqueline’s ass. To which Jacqueline employs the genius strategy of…sitting that ass on Robyn’s lap. Then at dinner, she screams that Melissa is a fake phony with four nose jobs and Teresa is a criminal.
Dolores, who didn’t get the memo that we were all telling the truth this evening, calmly orders several plates of buffalo wings while all this happens.
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There can only be one Punta Princess, as Kathy Wakile points out, but both Teresa and her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga want the title. An argument could be made that Melissa deserves the crown solely for the way she hung her head out the airport van window and hollered at the men who, having just landed in the country were now peeing on the side of the highway, “Have some claaaaaaaass!” On the first day’s boat trip, Melissa and Teresa, and their respective Joes, have a tense pose-off in their bikinis.
Poor Albert Manzo. Any travel agent can tell you, there is a difference between a trip and a vacation and Albert is not on a vacation. Despite his wife Caroline assuring him it would be just the two of them, here he is escorting her elderly parents up a mountain and babysitting the screaming Giudice children about a cruise ship.