And that’s only the first five minutes of the least celebratory bachelorette in history. First, there is a concert where Kim sings ‘Tardy for the Party’ to open for Kandi. Then Cynthia walks in a swimwear show that she is not only not excited for, but needs to do in order to pay for her wedding now that Peter’s lounge has closed. It’s dour.
Cynthia breaks down in tears when Kandi asks if she is going to go on a honeymoon. She almost leaves before the strippers, but just because the marriage is doomed doesn't mean you shouldn’t enjoy seeing some of Phaedra’s clients drop their trousers.
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Shereé planned this trip because she needed awareness and healing, to which the other Peaches said, “Best of luck to you.” Drew gets very worked up at the first dinner about a home chef who is suing her for one thousand dollars, to which Kenya asks if they can all just pool their money to settle.
Kenya, and Kenya Moore Hair Care, is performing the halftime show at the Magic City Classic, the country’s biggest HBCU football game. However, she is determined to keep it a secret until the game, which leaves the Peaches confused as to just what they are doing there.
Olympic track and field legend Sanya Richards-Ross brings the whole crew to her native Jamaica to help her film a video for iFit, but it’s Kandi who makes her star power known on this trip. At dinner the first night, the group is enjoying some light conversation.
Marlo and Kenya hate each other. They also love each other. They were both rejected by their mothers as little girls, and they can’t stop poking at each other's psychic pain, nor can they walk away from each other.
There is a pandemic and a hurricane, but the Peaches are going to do their best to enjoy the Crescent City. Drew Sidora flies everyone (except Kandi, who is arriving later by car) in a private jet and arranges for the ladies to be greeted at the hotel by a brass band and po’ boy sandwiches.
The Isle of Palms is all bucolic coastal charm, but inside the mansion it’s wild. Firstly, there are so many women. Too many, if you believe the contingent who is mad that Kenya’s baby Brooklyn and her nanny are along too. Plenty of things went on, but this trip will be remembered for Kandi’s dungeon party in bride-to-be Cynthia’s honor.
The villa overlooking the sea was elegant and modern, the seafood was delicious, and the view of the Acropolis from a dinner table hoisted one hundred feet in the air was stunning, but these southern belles will never go back to Greece because there are too many cats.
Long before Kim Kardashian launched one thousand snake emojis in Taylor Swift’s direction, another secretly recorded conversation made headlines. Someone, a snake according to Kenya, recorded Cynthia going off on her ex-friend NeNe. NeNe has heard it and on this first night in Toronto, Kandi is determined to find out who the snake is, and she thinks NeNe knows.
If Andy Cohen were to host a Bravo Pride float and fill it with Bravolebrities and he didn’t include at least three sets of people who have beef with each other, it would be a dereliction of duty. What housewife doesn’t want to cloak herself in righteousness and declare on Instagram Live that she is putting her enmity aside to be here for “the LGBT”?
The Atlanta wives have never encountered a cultural clash like this. It’s not the sushi or the hentai or even the incredibly efficient subway system. No, as their appointed cultural advisor Aya explains to them at the welcome dinner, being late is a sign of profound disrespect.