It’s all beautiful at first. Birthday dinners for Mauricio on the beach. Bathing beauties Camille and Brandi getting spritzed with SPF by cabana boys poolside. Then Kim, finally able to locate her passport, arrives a day late with her boyfriend Ken in tow.
Kyle, now in an anxiety spiral no spiritual tome can fix, spends the rest of the trip fretting about her sister’s sobriety. Except that is, when she is listening from a lounge chair when Taylor calls to inform her that she and Russell are divorcing.
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Erika Girardi really knows how to host a trip. Catered dinners in the Presidential Suite, private backstage Panda access at the zoo, horseback rides across the Bavarian countryside, a sunset cruise followed by dinner at a club so exclusive it’s in an unmarked alley.
It’s fashion week, and everyone’s daughter is walking in a show. Dorit is a model too, she is on the cover of Bella (the magazine, not Yolanda’s other daughter) and she wants to square things away with Lisa Vanderpump before her big launch party.
Teddi Mellencamp may be an accountability coach, but Erika Jane is going to teach her how to gamble responsibly. Never gamble more than you are willing to lose, she counsels her, before she and Dorit start “small” with $5000 in chips each. Aboard the High Roller Ferris wheel, Kyle and Dorit both corner Lisa Rinna hoping to get an apology out of her.
Shopping, Junk Boats, and dinners eaten in front of a wall of windows looking out on Hong Kong harbor. A luxe and colorful setting for some of the most unhinged accusations ever aired on reality TV.
The proxy war between Lisa’s Rinna and Vanderpump continues. Did Lisa Rinna tell Eden that Kim is not sober, and in fact is near death, and that Kyle is her enabler? Yes. She explicitly said all that, and the editors have the clips to prove it. Rinna is flying in the next day, so Vanderpump has time to set her trap.
One of Kyle Richards most perennial storylines is her insecurity about her gorgeous body. She’s talked openly about having an eating disorder in her youth, and it’s sad that a beautiful woman with every reason to be confident suffers from an ever-present diet culture. Which is why it was so thrilling that Erika’s two-woman trip to perform in Mykonos seemed to be designed, start to finish, to draw Kyle out of her shell.
Atlantis, The Palm (and presumably, the Dubai Tourist Commission) pulled out all the stops to make this trip sumptuous. The multiple-story suites are palatial, the jeep drive through the desert dunes at dusk is romantic, and the meet and greet with the hotel sea lion is enough to give Lisa Vanderpump heart palpitations.
“Let’s talk about the husband.” It was supposed to be a charming visit to Amsterdam, hometown of Yolanda Foster, but those five words, spat across the dinner table by Kim Richards, an early prototype of Lindsay Lohan, to Lisa Rinna, the woman who pioneered weaponizing concern, was all it took to send the entire trip careening into chaos before Lisa Vanderpump could even order her signature rosé.
Joyce, a Miss Puerto Rico, invited the ladies to her hometown for some recriminations in the sun. At the beach, Yolanda pulled Lisa Vanderpump aside to tell her that Brandi told her that Brandi felt bad when she heard that Kyle and Lisa were hanging out again, and also Brandi feels bad for Kyle because she knows that Lisa tried to convince Brandi to bring some tabloids about Kyle’s husband’s cheating to their Palm Springs trip and Kyle really deserves the truth, so just be honest okay?
Joyce Giraud, or “Jacqueline” as Brandi calls her five to seven times, has picked this beautiful house built into the side of a cliff for a relaxing desert weekend. Everyone has stripped down to their beautiful bikini bodies, but Yolanda and Brandi are incensed that Joyce and her gorgeous cloud of hair don’t want to get in the pool, because…it’s her pool party and she should lead?