Naturally, Kelly Dodd, a woman who believes calling a gong a “donger” is comedy, grabs a mallet and hits her over the head. As Tim the sound bath healer says, “that was so not cool.” Now the trip is emergency room visits and panic attacks.
Various factions split off to argue passionately in front of sedate personal chefs and butlers who are standing around with their hands neatly crossed. Fights ensue: Gina and Emily, Gina and Kelly, Kelly and Shannon, Kelly and Vicki, Kelly and everyone really. The bright spot for poor Shannon, who missed the private chef while she was in the ER, was Vicki arriving around midnight with In and Out.
more from this series
Sleeping in vans and roaring around the dunes in dune buggies and ATVs, has any vacation ever been more on-brand for Tamra Judge? Technically it’s her husband Eddie’s trip, for his birthday, but if you invite Housewives on your trip, it’s a Housewives trip.
Lizzie “feels'' pregnant and isn’t drinking, a clear violation of the “whoop it up” mandate. Vicki and Shannon are not having it. They order a pregnancy test to her room so that they can all take it as a group. It’s negative, so poor Lizzie must commence with taking shots.
Heather Dubrow is a woman whose brand is Champs, so it makes sense that she is developing her own champagne, or “méthode champenoise” with Gallo.
A gorgeous resort, in one of the most beautiful countries on earth. A spiritual retreat most Americans could only dream of. What a perfect setting to argue about Lizzie’s birthday party. You see, Tamra didn’t attend the party, canceling at the last minute because her daughter was sick.
The Beadors are in trouble. Everyone in the OC knows that David sent Shannon an email to soft launch a divorce, but Vicki is coming to the rescue. She invites the Beadors to hang out in her home-away-from-home Puerto Vallarta (her dad was one of the “first owners” there) with her and Brooks, so they can be positively influenced by seeing a “healthy couple.”
Some wild things happened on Tamra’s bachelorette getaway in Puerto Vallarta. The male strippers were overly zealous. Vicki sat on Tamra’s bed to download after a fun night out and left a little pee behind. Tamra, Lydia, Shannon, and Vicki snuck out of the elegant seafood restaurant Heather picked for them and went clubbing.
This is all Vicki’s idea. Her son Michael has just gotten back from a trip to Costa Rica and he just loved all the zip-lining and white water rafting. Surely if Michael enjoyed it then Heather Dubrow and Gretchen Rossi will as well? Alexis has a nervous breakdown about zip-lining.
Housewives A-Team Vicki and Tamra stayed at home on this trip, while B-Squad Gretchen, Alexis, Peggy Tanous, and Fernanda explored a cornucopia of bull-centric activities. They ate BBQ and listened to Alexis describe her eating disorder. They watched bull riding.
It was a girls weekend. A weekend for the girls. And Tamra’s husband Simon. And Gretchen’s boyfriend Slade. And Alexis’ chin-challenged husband Jim Bellino.
Gretchen is keen to enjoy some of San Francisco’s fine dining, but unfortunately, she has brought along Alexis Bellino, a woman who thinks a rare and expensive dish is called a “delicatessen.”