Lydia plans so many beautiful adventures: zipping around a black sand beach on ATVs, hiking a glacier, and tasting fermented shark with Friðrik, the dapper and charming owner of Hotel Rangá. But the 20 hours of sunlight does Vicki in.
Not only is it too many hours of unflattering brightness, but she parties all night, crashing a class reunion for the class of 1987. Her poor body breaks down, and she ends up taken away in an ambulance. Shannon is deeply concerned until she cracks up laughing at the sight of Vicki being taken out on a stretcher with a robe covering her face, Michael Jackson style.
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Of course the OC ladies are only in Jamaica for a few minutes before doing something culturally insensitive. They arrive with novelty dreadlocks in their carry-on and “yeah mon!” on the tips of their tongues. It’s not a great trip for Shannon - she is going through a divorce, and new girls Gina Kirschenheiter and Emily Simpson are ready to confront her for the frosty reception she has given them.
The OC ladies may have been a little too inspired by the Fighting Irish on this trip. No sooner has the first pub crawl started than Kelly annoys Vicki by flicking her nose. Tamra interjects to say “She doesn’t like that” and Kelly yells at her to “keep walking.”
Sleeping in vans and roaring around the dunes in dune buggies and ATVs, has any vacation ever been more on-brand for Tamra Judge? Technically it’s her husband Eddie’s trip, for his birthday, but if you invite Housewives on your trip, it’s a Housewives trip.
Lizzie “feels'' pregnant and isn’t drinking, a clear violation of the “whoop it up” mandate. Vicki and Shannon are not having it. They order a pregnancy test to her room so that they can all take it as a group. It’s negative, so poor Lizzie must commence with taking shots.
Heather Dubrow is a woman whose brand is Champs, so it makes sense that she is developing her own champagne, or “méthode champenoise” with Gallo.
A gorgeous resort, in one of the most beautiful countries on earth. A spiritual retreat most Americans could only dream of. What a perfect setting to argue about Lizzie’s birthday party. You see, Tamra didn’t attend the party, canceling at the last minute because her daughter was sick.
The Beadors are in trouble. Everyone in the OC knows that David sent Shannon an email to soft launch a divorce, but Vicki is coming to the rescue. She invites the Beadors to hang out in her home-away-from-home Puerto Vallarta (her dad was one of the “first owners” there) with her and Brooks, so they can be positively influenced by seeing a “healthy couple.”
Some wild things happened on Tamra’s bachelorette getaway in Puerto Vallarta. The male strippers were overly zealous. Vicki sat on Tamra’s bed to download after a fun night out and left a little pee behind. Tamra, Lydia, Shannon, and Vicki snuck out of the elegant seafood restaurant Heather picked for them and went clubbing.
This is all Vicki’s idea. Her son Michael has just gotten back from a trip to Costa Rica and he just loved all the zip-lining and white water rafting. Surely if Michael enjoyed it then Heather Dubrow and Gretchen Rossi will as well? Alexis has a nervous breakdown about zip-lining.
Housewives A-Team Vicki and Tamra stayed at home on this trip, while B-Squad Gretchen, Alexis, Peggy Tanous, and Fernanda explored a cornucopia of bull-centric activities. They ate BBQ and listened to Alexis describe her eating disorder. They watched bull riding.