But first, the ladies speed across the bay to a private island, where they discuss their adopted children over a couples massage and coerce Denise Richards into doing a Bond Girl walk out of the ocean.
Denise rightly pointed out that Christmas Jones, the scientist she played in The World is Not Enough, never sauntered out of the sea in a bikini, but if so that can only be because the producers hadn’t seen this footage.
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Brandi invites the gals to demonstrate her new business venture, stripper fitness. Unsurprisingly, Camille Grammer (née Club MTV) and Yolanda Foster (née Hadid/now Hadid) are lithe and sensuous. Kyle tries her best. Marisa Zanuck, daughter-in-law of legendary producer Richard Zanuck, proclaims that pole dancing isn’t sexy, earning money is sexy.
The Ojai Valley is known for beautiful hiking trails, art galleries, and new age shops. It’s the perfect place to argue about whose book deal is in poor taste. The first evening’s dinner is barely underway when Adrienne Maloof, noticing that Brandi and Kim get teary during a tête-à-tête about combining pills and booze, tucks her bedazzled weave behind one ear and sneers, “Oh no, someone’s crying” to which Brandi retorts, “Shut the f&@k up.”
Kyle Richards, star of Halloween, has made the most of a multi-season arc in which one of her main character traits is “nervous flier.” For this flight to Hawaii, she really brought it, clutching a copy of Zohar. Perfection. Nothing is more Beverly Hills than boarding a private plane with a Kabbalistic text as your comfort item.
This two-day jaunt to see Kelsey Grammer’s Broadway debut in La Cage aux Folles is where this newbie housewife franchise finally found its footing, with an iconic showdown in Serafina between Kyle Richards and Camille Grammer.
If you’re going to visit Vegas, the best way is to go with the owner of a casino. Adrienne Maloof put the ladies and their husbands up in The Palms Casino Resort and got them tickets to Jay-Z, an artist none of the wives were familiar with outside of being Beyonce's husband.