

Brandi, a master communicator, tries to cut the tension by telling Joyce that she isn’t swimming because “you’re black.” Joyce, an impeccable host, does not push Brandi off the Palm Springs tram the next day.
Carlton channeling her Wiccan energy, ensorcelled the squirrels at the top so Kim can pet them, a favor that Kim is thankful for as she kneels down in front of a trash can to pray

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Joyce, a Miss Puerto Rico, invited the ladies to her hometown for some recriminations in the sun. At the beach, Yolanda pulled Lisa Vanderpump aside to tell her that Brandi told her that Brandi felt bad when she heard that Kyle and Lisa were hanging out again, and also Brandi feels bad for Kyle because she knows that Lisa tried to convince Brandi to bring some tabloids about Kyle’s husband’s cheating to their Palm Springs trip and Kyle really deserves the truth, so just be honest okay?

It’s the city of love and models. Brandi and Yolanda jog along the Seine and remember what it was like to be young and gorgeous, walking the catwalk. Kyle and Mauricio write their name on a lock and snap it shut on the Love Lock Bridge, ensuring that they will be together for several more seasons.

Brandi invites the gals to demonstrate her new business venture, stripper fitness. Unsurprisingly, Camille Grammer (née Club MTV) and Yolanda Foster (née Hadid/now Hadid) are lithe and sensuous. Kyle tries her best. Marisa Zanuck, daughter-in-law of legendary producer Richard Zanuck, proclaims that pole dancing isn’t sexy, earning money is sexy.

The Ojai Valley is known for beautiful hiking trails, art galleries, and new age shops. It’s the perfect place to argue about whose book deal is in poor taste. The first evening’s dinner is barely underway when Adrienne Maloof, noticing that Brandi and Kim get teary during a tête-à-tête about combining pills and booze, tucks her bedazzled weave behind one ear and sneers, “Oh no, someone’s crying” to which Brandi retorts, “Shut the f&@k up.”

Kyle Richards, star of Halloween, has made the most of a multi-season arc in which one of her main character traits is “nervous flier.” For this flight to Hawaii, she really brought it, clutching a copy of Zohar. Perfection. Nothing is more Beverly Hills than boarding a private plane with a Kabbalistic text as your comfort item.

This two-day jaunt to see Kelsey Grammer’s Broadway debut in La Cage aux Folles is where this newbie housewife franchise finally found its footing, with an iconic showdown in Serafina between Kyle Richards and Camille Grammer.

If you’re going to visit Vegas, the best way is to go with the owner of a casino. Adrienne Maloof put the ladies and their husbands up in The Palms Casino Resort and got them tickets to Jay-Z, an artist none of the wives were familiar with outside of being Beyonce's husband.