This is NOT the thing you say to the owner of The Sacramento Kings, as all the ladies are keen to point out. Brandi apologizes while announcing that she is writing a book about her divorce.
Taylor is incensed, because Brandi said her book about marriage came out too soon after her husband’s suicide. Adrienne is writing a book. And now the women have something to argue about while they enjoy the weekend’s mud baths and al fresco dinners.
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Joyce, a Miss Puerto Rico, invited the ladies to her hometown for some recriminations in the sun. At the beach, Yolanda pulled Lisa Vanderpump aside to tell her that Brandi told her that Brandi felt bad when she heard that Kyle and Lisa were hanging out again, and also Brandi feels bad for Kyle because she knows that Lisa tried to convince Brandi to bring some tabloids about Kyle’s husband’s cheating to their Palm Springs trip and Kyle really deserves the truth, so just be honest okay?
Joyce Giraud, or “Jacqueline” as Brandi calls her five to seven times, has picked this beautiful house built into the side of a cliff for a relaxing desert weekend. Everyone has stripped down to their beautiful bikini bodies, but Yolanda and Brandi are incensed that Joyce and her gorgeous cloud of hair don’t want to get in the pool, because…it’s her pool party and she should lead?
It’s the city of love and models. Brandi and Yolanda jog along the Seine and remember what it was like to be young and gorgeous, walking the catwalk. Kyle and Mauricio write their name on a lock and snap it shut on the Love Lock Bridge, ensuring that they will be together for several more seasons.
Brandi invites the gals to demonstrate her new business venture, stripper fitness. Unsurprisingly, Camille Grammer (née Club MTV) and Yolanda Foster (née Hadid/now Hadid) are lithe and sensuous. Kyle tries her best. Marisa Zanuck, daughter-in-law of legendary producer Richard Zanuck, proclaims that pole dancing isn’t sexy, earning money is sexy.
Kyle Richards, star of Halloween, has made the most of a multi-season arc in which one of her main character traits is “nervous flier.” For this flight to Hawaii, she really brought it, clutching a copy of Zohar. Perfection. Nothing is more Beverly Hills than boarding a private plane with a Kabbalistic text as your comfort item.
This two-day jaunt to see Kelsey Grammer’s Broadway debut in La Cage aux Folles is where this newbie housewife franchise finally found its footing, with an iconic showdown in Serafina between Kyle Richards and Camille Grammer.
If you’re going to visit Vegas, the best way is to go with the owner of a casino. Adrienne Maloof put the ladies and their husbands up in The Palms Casino Resort and got them tickets to Jay-Z, an artist none of the wives were familiar with outside of being Beyonce's husband.