Robyn quite pointedly told Karen that she would be sharing a room for once, something that Robyn has done on many trips. But she underestimated Karen, who threw such a fit that Ashley gave up her oceanside single for her voluntarily.
Gizelle, not one to ever take her foot off Karen’s neck, then presented new DMV resident Nneka with a crown and sash, declaring her to be the next Grande Dame of Potomac. Karen was, in fact, quite mad, but pulled it together enough to quip “This is no crowning. This is a clowning.”
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Karen, the Grande Dame herself, takes Ashley under her wing. She’s going to teach her how to be a hostess. First lesson? Don’t let Gizelle give you a hard time about putting her in a twin double with a busted air conditioner. Ashley nails it.
Karen Huger is triple-twenty, which is how The Grande Dame turns sixty. Somehow, she has never worn a swimsuit on screen, but the editors include a snap from her social media to let us mere mortals in the audience know that Mrs. The Black Bill Gates is impossibly snatched for any age. Ashley celebrates by taking her to… Chicken Shit Bingo.
For a show about women, there sure is a lot of talk about everyone’s man. This trip does not pass the Bechdel Test! Of course, Peter Thomas of “stay out of women business” fame (thank you NeNe!) is helping to stir the pot. Not content to cause problems in Cynthia Bailey’s life, he wants to make both Mia and Wendy’s lives worse for having known him.
Good Vibes Only, or GVO, was the mandate handed down from hostess Dr. Wendy Osefo for this couple's trip. For the most part, the husbands took it to heart. Not so for Candiace and Mia!
Ashley needs a vacation from being a mom (who is married to Michael Darby) so she jets off to Madeira with everyone but Monique. Why not Monique? Well, she and Candiace have both accused each other of assault. Everyone agrees Portugal is beautiful and it seems they will be happily taking dry land toboggans and posing by a rocky coast in their swimsuits so long as the Poncha keeps flowing.
The best Housewives have a brand, and Robyn Dixon is no exception. Her brand is late. When it comes to sleeping in and being the last to arrive, she’s the best to ever do it. Robyn is the Michael Jordan of texting “On my way! Traffic!” while still in a bathrobe. Of course she misses her flight and has to give room assignments over the phone.
Gizelle Bryant takes the ladies of Potomac back to her roots in New Orleans. If one wants to understand what makes Gizelle tick, they have to eat Creole food, meet a giant alligator named Brutus who has been alive longer than anyone can remember, dance in a second line, and, of course, meet her dad Curtis.
Monique has a French name and an essential oils business, and that’s two reasons for her to celebrate her birthday in Cannes. No sooner has everyone unpacked and met for a bite, than Ashley is accusing Karen of living in a townhouse instead of the palatial home she entertains in. She denies it, but there is blood in the water.
Being a gracious hostess is an art. The first step is knowing whether you are the hostess or not, and Charrisse Jackson and Karen Huger have not passed that test. However, Karen, who left a personalized gift basket in each woman’s room and arranged a sunset dinner on the lawn, might be the more dedicated of the two hostesses.